Seeking God

My Inspiration:

Psalm 63:1-5
1 O God, You are my God; Early will I seek You;
My soul thirsts for You; My flesh longs for You
In a dry and thirsty land Where there is no water.
2 So I have looked for You in the sanctuary,
To see Your power and Your glory.
3 Because Your lovingkindness is better than life,
My lips shall praise You.
4 Thus I will bless You while I live;
I will lift up my hands in Your name.
5 My soul shall be satisfied as with marrow and fatness,
And my mouth shall praise You with joyful lips.

My Thoughts:

When I am in a flare, and I am weary, discouraged, hurting, frustrated, angry, sad, overwhelmed, lonely, and feel completely empty, I find a longing in my soul to RUN to the Word of God. One of my first blogs was about the blessings that have come from having chronic illness. I am going to share one of those blessings with you today – having fibromyalgia and chronic fatigue syndrome has kept me actively seeking God and His Word. I have been a believer and follower of Christ since I was 4 years old. I feel grounded in my faith and I would like to think that even without illness, I would continue to be a faithful follower of Christ, but when times are good, it is very easy to fall into the trap of complacency. It is the hard times that keep me trusting.

I have been facing the health challenges of CFS/FMS for 16 years. I need to be reminded of what I am to do, think, and feel when life is crashing around me because I am sick. I have days when I feel really BAD (like today) and I know that I will have many more days like this – probably for the rest of my life. It’s tiresome. During the time in my life when I was bedridden for 18+ months, I had little hope that I would have any kind of “normal” life. I felt hopeless. The only hope I knew to cling to was God and His Word. I cried out to Him in prayer for help, for comfort, for answers, for healing, for peace. I would search the Bible for verses about comfort, memorize them, meditate on them and pray them. Although I now live a full and blessed life, when the bad days come, everything in my life seems uncertain. I call upon my Lord to get me through those moments. I need His strength and comfort, so that I don’t fall apart emotionally because I can’t fulfill my obligations. I need His peace because my body hurts and I’m so bone-crushing tired that I feel like I am going to fall over. I remind myself that He is in control. I remind myself that nothing surprises Him. That in this moment He is with me. The ONLY place I know to draw strength from is GOD. How do other people do it? If not for the Lord, how do people with chronic illness survive? “God, You are my God; Early will I seek You; My soul thirsts for You; My flesh longs for You In a dry and thirsty land where there is no water.”

“Dry and thirsty land” describes me in my darkest hours of illness. In my dry and thirsty land (pain and fatigue) when there is no water (no hint of a cure), my soul thirsts for You, my flesh longs for You. “O God, You are my God.” This is my prayer and this is my heart. I am so grateful for verses of comfort. They give me strength. They give me hope. Your lovingkindness is better than life. I will praise you and bless you with joyful lips. Simply, because you are my God and worthy of my praise.

Do you find it hard to praise God in the tough times? or are the tough times the fuel that have you running to God seeking His comfort?

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