My Journey Part 5 – A New Normal

I became ill at the end of 1995, my diagnosis came in the fall of 1996 and I started living a life out of bed in the spring of 1997. I made changes in my life to maximize my physical, mental, and spiritual health. I slowly added more things to my life, but only the important things. I didn’t have room or energy in my life for things that were’nt essential. I learned to say “NO”, a very helpful skill for anyone with chronic illness! I found ways to handle the bad times and flare ups, which were many. Sometime around the year 1999, I started with the pain of fibromyalgia on top of the CFS. Many of the symptoms overlap so it all just runs together, but I have had to deal with both.

I don’t have enough space to tell you everything that transpired in my life from then until now, but here’s the highlights: I went back to school and got my Master’s Degree. I enjoyed part time employment as a private piano and voice lesson teacher. I fell in love with singing opera and had quite a few professional gigs before I started having my babies in 2002. I had five kiddos in a span of 6 ½ years, including a set of twins. Pregnancy agreed with me and my symptoms of CFS and fibro were greatly reduced during pregnancy and breastfeeding. This may be a BIG reason I wanted to have so many kids in such a short time! The sleepless nights waking up with infants is what about killed me, but I have lived to tell about it. : )

I am currently a stay at home mom. I love it and I wouldn’t change it, but running a household of seven is a 24/7 exhausting job. It would be for anyone, but for one who has CFS and fibro it is HARD! I couldn’t handle working outside the home even if I wanted to. My body would never allow that much stress and energy output – I’d probably end up back to being bed ridden. I grieve the fact that I will never have a career outside the home. Illness would never allow that, even during the good times. I had such great ambitions too, but I accept that God knows best and perhaps He will allow me to fulfill my passions in less stessful ways.

I have learned over the years what sets my body into a flare up and I try to avoid it.  I’ve discovered many ways to help my bad days improve. (Tuesday Tips) I have grieved and still do grieve a picture of the way my life could have been or would have been without illness. I have accepted that I will be ill for the rest of my life unless a cause/cure is known. I find ways all the time to improve my quality of life and I won’t give up seeking answers. I take care of myself and try to stay educated on the latest CFS and fibromyalgia research. I take one day at a time.

This has been my journey. It’s been long and hard, but I have had the loving support of my husband and family through the whole thing. Not everyone is blessed enough to have that. I hope through this blog I can share ways that God has shown Himself to me and given me peace. I will share with you what inspires me and I hope it provides encouragement to you. I want to embrace the life I’ve been given and live it fully as it was intended, even with illness. This life is full of bumps and course changes along the way, but one thing remains constant and that is the mercy, grace, and love of my Saviour, Jesus Christ.

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7 thoughts on “My Journey Part 5 – A New Normal

  1. I have just been diagnosed with fibro…I have only dealt with this since Aug..So I feel guilty when i read some peoples stories..Becasue there is some really bad ones and it scares me that this is only going to get worse. .I saw your comment on the fibro fb page and then went to your fb site and on to this blog…I just thank you for telling your story!!!! You are upfront about it but POSITIVE!!!!! I have not read much positive out of people and it is making me really, really down!!!! So thank you for this!!! I will be following your blog!!! Merry Christmas and God Bless you!!!

    • Thank you, Cindy! The whole purpose of the blog is to offer positive encouragement so, I am glad that you have found that here. I hope you’ll keep reading. Everyday is different, try not to fear it, enjoy the good days and have a plan for the bad days. Maybe read My Feel Better Lists under Tuesday Tips – it’s my plan of action when I am having a bad day. Blessings to you!

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  3. I am so glad that I came across your blog through Rest Ministries! I am in the process of having to give up a job, sell my home, and move back in with my Mom. I am a single parent and have no one to help me, except my son, who has his own life to live too.

    This illness struck me when I was going through a lot of stress, I had lost my dad, my husband had moved out then moved back in, and eventually we got a divorce. So I think that the perpetual stress is what caused my illness with CFS. I had went to dr after dr looking for a diagnosis. I had various tests, sleep studies, ect. Then finally they did an EBV test and it was really high. I finally got the CFS diagnosis and knew the name of why I was feeling so bad, and that was a relief, but then came the next statement ” There isn’t really much we can do for it.” I read all that I can and try to stay positive, but the stress is always there.

    Thank you so much for your blog, it has already been a big encouragement to me:)

    • Kim, I am so glad that you found the blog! Welcome! I’m so sorry to hear of all your struggles and even more sorry for your diagnosis. Keeping a positive attitude is a big step in the right direction. Also, staying educated and reading up on all the latest research is a big help. Your doing great in spite of the circumstances! Keep pursuing wellness and thanks for reading!

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  5. I wanted to share with you what GOD has shown me through my experience.
    It started with last July when GOD first reached out to me. I was camping with my family when I got a call. My Brother was hit by a truck and it was critical.
    I haven’t been close to my brother and tried to avoid him before this. Now, he was hanging onto life by a thread. I saw God work in a miraculous way after that. I saw my parents faith in God through prayer and Reading Psalms every night.
    I saw GOD work in my brothers life through his smiles even though he had tubes everywhere.
    I promised GOD that I would change and come back to him if He spared my brothers life.
    My brother is walking, talking and even remembers names, places and can hold intelligent conversations.
    I now had to hold my end of the deal.
    My migraines increased and I couldn’t get a job. I asked God to show me why I existed because my selfishness pushed my husband and boys away. I was losing hope until I started reading Ephesians. I learned that I have a purpose( leading my family to Christ) and a destiny(Heaven). I also learned that God loved me even when I was lost and didn’t need Him. He knows what I am going through and that’s comforting to me.
    So when I can’t sleep because of pain or I wake up with another migraine, I know Jesus is with me, loving me and going through my trials with me..
    Then, I think of my brothers accident and the power that Christ had in healing my brother.
    “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me”

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